The last five years was a whirlwind of change and transition mostly for our son. Five years ago he went into a downward spiral and intense rage and instability that found no solution. Around May of 2015 his behavior start to change. First it was a dulling of personality then more self injurious behaviors. Around Fall rage start to appear on a daily basis. All the psychiatrist can do each time we visited him was to try new medication. We tried a lot of meds but he failed to help so we went to another psychiatrist in town. His primary physician tried benzodiazepines but none has worked although we tried it for a few months. Up and down of medications made it confusing to know what works. We frequented the ER a few times to see if he had a traumatic brain injury from his bike accident. Negative. There was a particularly violent day which started from a hole in our wall and ended to a broken window next door. Later that day we had to call the cops but by the time they got to our house he was quite medicated with Saphris. It was the only medication he said he did not like but at the time the only one that can calm him down. We called the cops at least 2 more occasions and ended up in the ER a couple more times. It felt like war inside our home.
We realized that if we can’t control him then he has to go live elsewhere because there are four other people that are afraid every day, not knowing what to expect and what will break next. We started looking at houses recommended by the Regional Center (VMRC) and almost got admitted to one at Turlock. That only lasted a month and on to the next one in Patterson but that one felt too much like an institution and he didn’t like it. That was December. Around January of 2016 VMRC found us another home in Modesto. We interviewed them and Scotty seem excited so he moved in February. Around the same time we had to find another day program for him, one that can support his behavioral needs. After only a couple of weeks he hurt someone at day program and was sent home. So, no more day program for him. They tried to do program at home by using their behaviorist and it just reminded him of the early Lovaas years, the stimuli-response therapy. He hurt one of the staff there and they called the cops on him which they shouldn’t have because it is part of their job being a Level 4 home. They should be equipped to handle difficult behaviors. Now he received a citation and has to go to court. He was also given a 30 day notice at that home. Now we are faced with no place for him and a pending court case. Also during this time, Scott was laid off at work.
We were in a panic because if a level 4 home cannot handle him then even more so for us. They kept looking for another place and found one in Lathrop in May where he did well the first year and got him under control. Another day program has to be found and it was CVTC in Stockton. By 2017, we were done with our court case and he was doing well at this point. The judge just told him to control himself and take his medication. She gave him a thumbs up which he reciprocated.
These last 2 yrs was a flurry of appointments, change of doctors, change of medicines. There were so many IPP’s I can’t even remember them anymore. Attending them made me sick in my stomach because it was always to talk about him and his behaviors.
By 2018, he’s been doing well but not in the day program so we have to meet often regarding his behaviors in the community. Unbeknownst to us that the manager of the home is starting to neglect her staff and is having issues with the state board. Around this time Scotty will always say that he wants to move to Modesto. Every time we see him, that was his request. We thought that he was just being repetitive but there was a reason he wanted to leave the home. Long story short is that he got to move in Modesto last year and it was the hand of God that did it. That home in Lathrop was closed and the Regional Center was forced to grant him his request. It was a relief to both of us because the manager was giving us a lot of grief and always confrontational towards me. I’m so happy that chapter is over!
We couldn’t have survived if not for God and our prayers and trust to Him. He alone sustained us and made us stronger on the other side of the storm. If we ever thought that we were self-sufficient, this trial proved otherwise. In the process of sanctification I learned dependence on Him alone. My view of God has changed from taskmaster to gracious Father who actually loves me to the end.